Better Here or Here? Number 1 or Number 2?

Under no circumstances should it be permissible for an opthalmologist to utter the phrase "bitch slap" in the presence of a patient.

Now that I have your attention...

This morning I had the misfortune of visiting Dr. Frederic Munz for a follow-up visit related to an eye problem. It was during that visit that he carefully chose his words, often noticably pausing mid-sentence to contemplate just what to say, and uttered "bitch slap" while trying to describe his preference of aggressive treatment as opposed to conservative treatment of my condition. Apparently, he chose to "bitch slap" my eye with some anti-inflammatory steroid drops. Now it's not that I've never heard the term before, but I've certainly never heard it from a medical professional before. That wasn't the first time he had used profanity, either.

Allow me to expand on my two most recent encounters with Dr. Munz. Or don't allow me. It's my blog, so I'll expand anyway.

He feels the need to use analogies for every other sentence out of his mouth - as if I am either too dense to comprehend the complexities or his need to talk down to patients has not yet been fulfilled. From my paperwork, he read my job title as "Software Engineer" and proceeded to tell me that was better than a "Straight Engineer" (whatever that is???).

When asked about details of laser correction surgery cost, he adamantly claimed that "Straight Engineers" tend to overanalyze decisions by doing things like calculating cost-benefit ratios and break-even points. I'm sure anyone with half an interest in business or personal finance can tell you those concepts are real and are important. He simply compared it to getting married, saying something like "It may not be the smartest thing to do, but you do it because you want to." Huh? He also dodged the question of providing specific recommendations for doctors and centers performing the procedure, instead opting for "When you're ready to spend $3000-$4000, come back and see me!"

After this discussion about laser correction surgery, he went back to scribbling on my chart. He must have glanced at his watch because he commented in a bit of surprise that we had been talking quite a bit more than usual, but "that's ok -- that's part of what you are paying for". Well, yes. I know that. I don't need you pointing it out. I didn't know it was possible to talk too much to your eye doctor about an eye procedure you were contemplating. Apparently I was mistaken.

This all reminds me of a bad experience I had when I was a teenager and just beginning to wear contacts. After determining the correct prescription via repeated "Better here or here? Number 1 or number 2?" questioning, the optometrist (I forget his name) retrieved two vials of contacts. We put them in and I looked at the eye chart. It was worse than without any correction! The doctor could not, would not believe me, exclaiming "You're lying!". I wasn't. Why would I? Why would a doctor call a patient a liar? Later he discovered the bottles were mislabelled and the prescription was the inverse of what I needed.

Suffice it to say, I will not be returning to Dr. Munz. The sad thing is that I will miss the excellent office staff, especially Cynthia who is both affable and efficacious.

I will not miss Dr. Munz. Posted by Chris on 9/16/2004 10:26:00 AM :: Permalink
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